Reflection 4.1

After getting my paper workshopped I learned quite a few things. First of all I had gotten a lot of complements on my narration of the story. I agree that I did a good job with this part of the assignment. But as I was told and I agree with I need to add more arguement into the story and maybe even cut back on the narrative part. As discussed during class I realize I really need to incorporate my sources better. I know I kind of just threw them in just for the sake of having sources. But this was partially because I could not find a good message to get across fromt the story. But now I have a better idea of how to work with te story I am writtinga about to make it more of an arguement.

Narrative Arguement: 1st Draft

The Perfect Season

It was 6:00 A.M. when my dad shook me awake. “Our ride’s are gonna be here soon, get ready,” he said, already dressed himself. I rolled about of bed in a half dazed state of mind, not even realizing how important this morning was. I quickly rinsed off in the shower and threw on the clothes I had l laid out the night before, ready to embark on one of the most epic adventures I will be a part of till this day. I went down stairs where all of our bags were packed and ready for departure. My mom then gave my dad, brother, and I big hugs, then off we went to a place I had never been before.

Our destination was Tucson, Arizona where we were to compete in a series of playoffs for a chance to be the national champions of the American Youth Football league for our weight class. Our weight class being the biggest one with no weight restrictions; so you can imagine there was some pretty big kids.

I remember walking into that hotel for the first time; it was one of the coolest buildings I had ever been in. There were cactuses all around the lobby and a huge gift shop in the back. It was all dessert/western themed too. Right as we pressed the elevator button out come a whole mass of football guys laughing and pushing each other around, I knew right away that this was going to be a great time. Unfortunately the one thing that was really digging at me was the fact that the airport lost our luggage, including all of my pads. But that is a whole other story to be told. Needless to say we got it back the next day or so.

To me this adventure was more than just another sport story; yeah I have a lot of them. It brought a bunch of 8^th graders into an unknown world. We had no idea of the outcome. Even though our team went undefeated, we thought it was more of a joke that we were actually going to compete against teams from around the country. Who would have ever thought that a primarily white school from Connecticut would have made it this far, not me that’s for sure.

                Not to sound corny, but I never would have thought hard work and determination could have gotten me so far. But that was a loooong season. We pretty much played all the way up till Christmas. All the way from scorching August conditioning, to crisp autumn, to frigid, bone numbing winter. In the end of it all it was worthwhile. Out of all the sports and the years I’ve played them I have never seen a stronger bond between players and coaches. This was to say that the team was combined of the two middle schools in our town. An Article called “Importance of Youth Involvement In Sports” explains this, “Life skill gains through social interaction can be tremendous. Social interaction in team sports teaches youth to: 1) Associate with their peers; 2) Solve conflict; and 3) Communicate effectively with their peers.” At the beginning of the year the Scott’s Ridge kids didn’t care too much for the East Ridge kids and vice versa. We always bickered at each other about who had the better athletes, the hotter girls, and the nicer school. By the end of the season it was like there was no boundary between us anymore.

                Adults tend to underestimate the importance of having their children participate in team sports. According the article from Livestrong.com called “The Benefits Of Youth Sports”, “Children reap many benefits from playing sports, including self-discipline, self-confidence, a healthier body, and stronger relationships with peers and adults” (Breeze par. 1). “As young athletes develop their bodies, their minds develop simultaneously” (Breeze par. 1). I absolutely consent with both of these statements, not only was I the best shape of my life, I never felt like I had more of a purpose till then. And I know you don’t have to make it to the National Playoffs to feel the same. There is nothing like a team working towards one goal together not matter what the sport is. The combination between the physical pain and mental toughness is something that cannot be matched in other extracurricular activates. Pushing each other through difficult times both mentally and physically is something that most youth can only experience in team sports. Obviously not everyone is going to go out and win a national championship. But don’t think it’s impossible, anything is possible. Talent is not just good enough, everyone has to work together to achieve the big prize.

                We were the only team out practicing during that hot, dry Arizona week. Man we wanted to kill our coach for making us practice. While the other teams were swimming in their hotel pools, we were going over plays on a scraggily, dusty elementary school field… if you really want to call it a field. Our coach would always point out that he knew we were the only team practicing, and he didn’t give a shit about the other teams. He would say that every minute we were out there busting our asses we were getting that much better than everyone out there. Well I guess he was right in that logic. We had to be sharp for that first game. Our coach wanted nothing more than to win, I could see the determination when he spoke to us. He was not going to give up easy, especially not with the talent he had that year.

After a couple days of fooling around in that giant hotel and constant team meetings the day of the first playoff finally arrived. “Wow”, I thought, “this is really it”. The team we would be facing was from Bakersville, California. Let me repeat that, California! That is a long ways away from little Connecticut. “These kids are going to destroy us”, I thought. Well by the chance of a flip of a coin we decidedly chose to receive the ball first. “Bang”, I see that ball fly in the air, everyone’s eyes fixated on it, like a meteor falling to Earth. “Wham” right in our returner’s hand, then next thing you know he’s flying up the sideline and into the end zone. Everyone’s jaw dropped… did we just score on the opening kickoff?... yes we did! That game happened so quick I didn’t even think it was real, I thought I was day dreaming. The ending score of that game was 49-7. For those of you not familiar with the football scoring system 49 points is a damn high score. That night the whole team and whoever was accompanying them went out to celebrate at a real fancy restaurant.

A couple days later the second game came around. This time it was long Beach, California. This one flew by even quicker than the first game. I actually thought Bakersville was more of a challenge than this team, maybe we it had just been our confidence level spiking upward. Before I knew I was on the sideline watching the second and third string players get their time, having a blast as usual. It seemed like throughout the season I barely even got to play half the game we beat the other teams so bad. The final score was 45-0, which in sport terms is a blowout! After this game we all really held our heads up high and a confidence went through me like nothing I had ever felt before.

                The bonding had only just begun late night trips to IHOP for milkshakes and Shlotsky’s Deli for lunch only made the week more fun. Playing 500 and kill the carrier in the pool helped out too. But before I knew it that final game came, the championship game. Walking into that Arizona University Stadium was like something straight out of a movie. It was the biggest stadium I had ever been in. I couldn’t believe how much seating there was. It was truly a mind-boggling experience. I remember practicing on the field next to the stadium for what seemed like hours. I must have peed 4 times I was so nervous. Low and behold we walked into the stadium to start, said a quick prayer together, and then off we were.

The coin was tossed and we were forced to defend first. I never liked being on defense first. I prefer the offense starting off and scoring on the first drive. So this way I have less pressure on me to stop the opposing team from gaining ground. Being a starter is never easy, especially when you are going against offensive linemen who look like grown men. And the fact that this was the National Championship game didn't help either. My heart was beating out of my chest; I couldn't even see the line of scrimmage in front of me. All I hear is "down, set"... the offensive tackles dark eyes were glaring at me, I could sense it, “I'm gonna screw everything up or get hurt”, I kept thinking to myself.."HIT!” The lineman's hands shoot at me me like two pistols ready to blow my brains out.  Then my instincts kicked in, everything I had practiced for so long fired out of me like hot lava, and I drove that lineman's big ass so far I actually took myself out of the play. Luckily there were a group of linebackers behind me to clean up the tackle behind me. Then I jumped on the pile and suddenly the butterflies went away. When I stood up I felt like a different person, adrenaline had kicked in like never before and I was ready to tear this team apart.

This was really the only game I felt like we might lose after the first three minutes. We made jokes that because we killed teams so early on that the bad kids got to play more than the good ones. This was until now. I remember vividly that timer moving second after second. I wanted to puke, throw my helmet off and cry I was so nervous. But I knew how important this game was, how much the coaches and players depended on me. They were my new best friends, pretty much all members of my family. We had a respect for our coaches and teammates unlike any other. In the end we won 22-14, our closest game ever. This was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. As said in the article “The Mental Health Of Youth Sports On Kids” written by Alexandra Momyer, “Participating in sports can be a valuable and cherished experience. Youth sports can provide long-lasting friendships and mental benefits that carry over to adulthood. Your child will have self-satisfaction from feeling needed, and it will build self-esteem, confidence and self-discipline” (Momyer par.3). I completely agree with this statement. The memories of this experience as well as many other sport experiences will always be values and cherished in my life. I know I will always remember the guys on that team in the best light.

Is there really anything better than winning a National Championship?, especially when you gave up so much of your free time and energy. The way I see it the harder you work the more valuable and special that final product is. This is why I feel more kids should join sport teams. These experiences are ones that I believe no child should be left without.

Alexandra Momyer. “The Mental Effects Of Youth Sports On Kids”. 12/18/10. Lance Armstrong Foundation. http://www.livestrong.com/article/337356-the-mental-effects-of-youth-sports-on-kids. 4/20/11.

Eileen Breeze. “The Benefits Of Youth Sports”. 3/23/10. Lance Armstrong Foundation. http://www.livestrong.com/article/83842-benefits-youth-sports. 4/20/11.

Payne, Caroline. Fogarty, Kate. “Importance Of Youth Involvement In Sports”. 2009. Unviersity of Florida IFAS Extension. http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/fy1001. 4/21/11.

Reflection 3.2

I have found my topic and began to start writing it out. I took some time to really think out what the messages the story I am telling is portraying. These messages include teamwork, bonding, be confident in yourself, never short side your abilities. I am not sure how easy it will be to find sources on these topics but at least it a start for something to look for. I will take a few attempt for me to incorporate the messages into the story properly. It is easy to just ramble on about a story with no specific details.

Rogerian Arguement: Final Draft

Should The Drinking Age Be Changed?

The drinking age is a concern that affects many American citizens starting from teens up to adults. It is a topic that can perk up many ears and that many people have a say in. It is not fair that an 18 year old can risk their lives serving in the military, vote for the next president, purchase weapons, buy cigarettes, and legally be called an adult without having the freedom of an occasional beer. I realize the concern that Americans have with lowering the drinking age, and it is certainly a matter that cannot be taken lightly.  But I feel that as you read on you will see the matter in a different light and hopefully reconsider your opinion, if you do not already feel the same.  

Up until 1970 the drinking age in most states was 21. Partly contributed to of a substantial amount of protesting by young adults, the right to vote was lowered as well as the drinking age to 18 in an increasing number of states. According Hon. Karen Arnold-Burger’s article “The Top Five Reasons We Should Keep The Drinking Age At 21”, between 1970 and 1976 21 states had lowered the drinking age to 18. Another 8 had dropped it to 19 or 20. This changed quickly because of an increased amount of alcohol-related fatalities among teens and young adults. Because of this predicament the drinking age was raised again by 24 out of the 29 states that had lowered it. By 1984 only three states allowed 18 year olds to drink legally. This was a problematic situation because of the number of accidents caused by teens and young adults trying to cross over to the states with lowered drinking ages. Eventually in 1984 the National Minimum Drinking Age Act was enacted by Congress and the legal drinking age officially became 21(Arnold-Burger par. 3).

To start off I fully understand that the drinking age was raised from 21 to 18 in the 1970’s to reduce fatal car crashes. In fact, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, increasing the minimum drinking age to 21 is credited with having saved 18,220 lives on the nation’s highways between 1975 and 1998.  Other studies have found that it is responsible for a 19% net decrease in fatal crashes involving young drivers, and is currently responsible for saving approximately 1,000 young lives each year (Arnold-Burger par. 4). But this has not at all stopped underage drinking. In reality it has made it worse. The article “Why Drinking Age Should Be Lowered: An Opinion based on facts.” written by Professor Ruth C. Engs at Indiana University presents logical and statistical information on the topic. Engs states, “The decrease in drinking and driving problems are the result of many factors and not just the rise in purchase age or the decreased per capita consumption. These include: education concerning drunk driving, designated driver programs, increased seat belt and air bag usage, safer automobiles, lower speed limits, free taxi services from drinking establishments, etc” (Engs par. 7) With the increase in age for alcohol purchase and consumption legality brings other problems. These problems include those brought on by irresponsible heavy drinking by college age students.

Statistically from “1982 until 1987 about 46% of students reported "vomiting after drinking." This jumped to over 50% after the law change. Significant increase were also found for other variables: "cutting class after drinking" jumped from 9% to almost 12%; "missing class because of hangover" went from 26% to 28%; "getting lower grade because of drinking" rose from 5% to 7%; and "been in a fight after drinking" increased from 12% to 17%” (Engs par. 6). It is clear that fatal car crashes caused by intoxicated minors may not just be because of the increase in drinking age. On top of this an abundance of strong facts and percentages proves that the rise in drinking has only increased problems before sought to be eliminated.

A discussion of this argument was presented on 60 Minutes by CBS News. The dilemma was brought up by former president of Middlebury College in Vermont, John McCardell with the help of Mark Beckner, the chief of police in Boulder, Colorado. Beckner states, "This law has been an abysmal failure," McCardell told 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl. "It hasn't reduced or eliminated drinking. It has simply driven it underground, behind closed doors, into the most risky and least manageable of settings. Like basements, fraternity houses and locked dorm rooms, where kids go to hide from the law and from adults, including parents, who might teach them some moderation” (The Debate par. 7). It is sad to see what the drinking community has come to. Maybe if the drinking age is lowered better results will come for America’s college students and teens that chose to participate in casual drinking.

Without the ease of acquiring alcohol, young adults feel the need to buy expensive fake IDs. With possession of these IDs these have possibly innocent, young adults have the potential of getting felony charges. As said by Chief of Police Mark Beckner, “The overall advantage is we're not trying to enforce a law that's unenforceable. The abuse of alcohol and the over-consumption of alcohol and DUI driving. Those are the areas we've gotta focus our efforts. Not on chasing kids around trying to give 'em a ticket for having a cup of beer in their hand” (The Debate par. 19). Teens and College students feel the need to get as drunk as possible before going out on weekends. In McCardell’s opinion, “The law has created a dangerous culture of irresponsible and reckless behavior, unsupervised binge and extreme drinking… kids trying to perfect the art of getting drunk as fast as possible by playing drinking games. And pre-loading, downing as much of the forbidden fruit as possible before going out in order to avoid getting caught by the police” (The Debate par. 8) To me this just seems backwards. I realize that the police force and laws are set up to avoid reckless behavior and potentially dangerous events from occurring. But in fact opposite is happening because of such strict laws against minors drinking.

Many teens and young adults have the desire to rebel against the law. Drinking illegally seems cool to them and can actually push them more to binge drink. It is true that drinking at younger age does have its downside, such as decline in athletic performance, academics, health, and overall wellbeing. With this said if these youngsters are not able to drink in controlled environments they will have to learn for themselves. How will they be able to manage these downsides if they are not comfortably drinking around better role models? I am sure most everyone from adults to teens can attest to that one time the just drank way too much. Some of these people may even have stories of trips to the emergency room. The lack of adult authority over binge drinking can only be a negative. If these young adults and teens were able to drink in bars and around and school functioned events, bartenders and other adults would be able to cut them off so they learn moderation. They would also not have to feel the need to drink in underground, unsupervised environments where they may act in both irresponsible and life-threatening behaviors. To add on to this, many underage drinkers drive intoxicated in order to hide it from their parents. If the drinking age were lowered these minors would feel less pressure in telling their parents that they are drunk, and have a better chance of getting a safe ride home.

“The legal drinking age should be lowered to about 18 or 19 and young adults allowed to drink in controlled environments such as restaurants, taverns, pubs and official school and university functions. In these situations responsible drinking could be taught through role modeling and educational programs” (Engs par. 1). Similar attempts to alter drinking laws have historically failed. This was seen in the 1920’s with the national prohibition and the 1850’s with state prohibition. Underground drinking had become a huge ordeal causing otherwise innocent citizens to be arrested for having a casual drink. Crime had increased in these times and they had to be appealed because of it. I feel a similar situation is being presented in this argument. By lowering the drinking age such illegal, underground drinking will be brought to a minimum, and young adults and teens will learn to drink in a reasonable moderation.

The United States is one of the only developed countries who have a drinking age higher than the age of 18. Countries such as the United Kingdom, Germany, and Australia all have drinking ages at 18 or lower. Michaela Ails who wrote an article in The Daily Collegian has a say on this, “Even our neighbors to the north, Canada, have a drinking age of 18 proving that this is not a regional phenomenon (Ails par. 1). As mentioned before I understand that the drinking age was raised in order to lower automobile fatalities and that American driving standards are much different than those of other countries.

To make a compromise that will allow Americans feel more comfortable about lowering the drinking age, certain standards can be arranged. Teens must complete a 40 hour course on the effects of alcohol on the human body and the dangers of driving while intoxicated. They will not be able to purchase or consume alcohol until they get a special license that shows they have completed this course. Also an attempt to set up safe ride programs across America will be put underway. These programs desired outcome will be to make sure teens and young adults are not driving intoxicated. Safe Ride programs can be set up in towns where of age teens and adults can volunteer to drive intoxicated people to a safe destination. Members of the town, realistically high school students, will attend a meeting where the program is explained. They will then be put into groups of their choice, so you may be with your friends if you want, and have designated nights set up throughout the year to be a safe ride. If enough people join, the members may only have to participate a few times a year. I feel if more programs like this are set up around America, there will be a dramatic decrease in drunk driving. I also believe that teens and parents will be very willing to participate in this knowing that when the time comes they can safely be brought home without risking their lives.

                To conclude I hope all readers now have a better sense of where I am coming from in my discussion of lowering the drinking age to the age of 18. I do hope all will better consider the idea and with much optimism will make it a reality. Thank you, your time is very valuable to me in getting this message across.

“The Debate On Lowering The drinking Age”. CBS News. Feb. 22, 2009. March 28, 2011.

Engs, Ruth C. “Why Drinking Age Should Be Lowered: An Opinion based on facts.”Applied Health Sciences, Indiana University. March, 20, 1998. March 29, 2011.

Ails, Michaela. “Lowering Drinking Age to 18 Would Benefit Young Adults”. The Daily Collegian. Feb. 2, 2009. March 30, 2011.

Hon. Arnold-Burger, Karen. “The Top Five Reasons We Should Keep The Drinking Age At 21”. August 26, 2008. April 17, 2011.

Prewriting 4.2

The coin was tossed and were forced to defend first. I never liked being on defense first. I prefer the offense starting off and scoring on the first drive. So this way I have less pressure on me to stop the opposing team from gaining ground. Being a starter is never easy, especially when you are going against offensive lineman who look like grown men. And the fact that this was the National Championship game didn't help. My hear was beating out of my chest, I couldn't even see the line of scrimmage in front of me. All I hear is "down, set"... the offensive tackles dark eyes were glaring at me, I could sense it, I'm gonna fuck everything up or break my hands I kept thinking to myself.."HIT! The lineman's hands shoot at me me like two pistols ready to blow my brains out.  Then my instincts kicked in, everything I had practiced for so long fired out of me like hot lava, and I drove that lineman's big ass so far I actually took myself out of the play. luckily there were a group of linebackers behind me to clean up behind me. Then I jumped on the pile and suddenly the butterflies went away.

Prewriting for Essay 4

The topic I am thinking of writing about is my 8th grade football team. We had gone the whole season undefeated and won the National Championship. This is one the biggest accomplishments I have ever been through and I am thinking it always will be. I think it tells a good story of how hard work and determination can actually bring you somewhere. The whole team had no idea we would have made it that far. Realistically we thought we were going to get crushed in the first round of the playoffs. We never really put into prospective how much harder we worked than the other teams and how talented we really were. Overall another message this story tells is to never doubt or short-side yourself because anything can happen.