Essay 2.1: the tiger mother's predator

The Tiger Mother’s predator

The article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” by Amy Chua is a controversial piece that may have readers both outraged and intrigued. Chua explains her view on how her parenting style is more effective than any other style used by different parents. Even though her children seem to be excelling in school, her abusiveness and lack of freedom render her ways questionable.  

The idea that Chinese Mothers are Superior is one that is lacking full support. Although Statistically Chinese students do have a high success rate, when do the parents stop and ask what their children feel about the whole ordeal? What other hobbies or interests do they wish to follow that the parents are not assigning them? How can you measure the parenting style and success rate of all "Chinese Mothers? Can you take into account the success rate/ happiness of the children of "western parents" when compared to those of "Chinese mothers"? "In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said that stressing academic success is not good for the children, by contrast roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way." It is clear that Chinese parents have a very different view than that of the so-called “Western parents”.  For Chinese mothers getting straight A's is not something to strive for it is simply how it must be. This is compared to a common Western parent praising their child for getting a B on a paper.

While on the topic of parenting styles I would like to share my personal views on the subject. My parents were always very open to allow me to follow whatever academic and extracurricular paths I so wished. Over my 18, nearly 19 years of existence I have experienced many different venues of hobbies. My parents only directed me towards paths I may be interested in; they did not by any means dictate my life. I feel this made me a very diverse and creative person. I can say the same for both my brother and sister. None of the three of us followed the same paths. My sister became an accounting major, my brother a business major, and myself a health and physical education major. Both my brother and I play on the football team as well. We are all very successful in school and seem to be living our lives as happily and freely as we possibly can.

The only thing I can say on a personal note after reading this article is that I wish my parents had pushed me a little more to achieve higher grades. It is not that they didn’t care it is just a matter of them saying “try your best and you’ll get what you get”. Well for someone who does not have as high of an interest in academics as opposed to extracurricular activities such as sports, I did not strive for the best in the classroom. An average 3.0 was just fine for me. And as long as this got me into a good college, my parents were happy too. I feel that “Chinese Mothers” have the right incentive by pushing their kids to have high academic achievements. But to the excess of that which has been described in this article, I feel is wrong. I think it is to a point of abusiveness and their children will unfortunately not be able to experience all life has to offer.

If the children are not able to experience social settings and extracurricular activities in their childhood, other than violin, I believe they will grow up to be dull, socially awkward individuals. In the article “Our Readers Roar: What Makes a Good Parent”, Alistair Nichols brings up a point similar to mine. They state “All that rote learning and drilling isn't conducive to developing creative thinking abilities; and avoidance of sleepovers, school plays, sports, etc. doesn't make them very team-oriented—a real drawback in the modern world.… I think there has to be a middle way. Unfortunately, this article doesn't promote a balanced approach” (Our Readers Roar par. 2).

Although as mentioned in the article, “what Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you are good at it…. Once a child starts to excel at something…. She gets praise, admiration, and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not fun activity fun” (Chua par.5). Maybe the child has a desire to partake in something that they may be truly good at and thoroughly enjoy. Well if the parents do not allow them to participate in this, how will they ever know? They may be missing out on something that could make them successful and happy in years to come.  Maybe the child has superior hand-eye-coordination and may excel in a sport like baseball. By not allowing this kid to experience the sport they will never know his true potential. They will also have no understanding of what it is like to compete on a team and work as a group to complete a goal. They will miss out on the experience of building a strong friend base in which they will learn the feats of a social setting. I personally have gained the strongest friendships through sports and have learned what it means to work towards one goal as a team. If I did not experience this I would not be the same person nor have the same moral values. Unfortunately the children who are not allowed to participate in such activities will never gain the understanding of these powerful experiences.

According to “Essentials of Life-Span Development” by John W. SantRock, copyright 2008, “Authoritarian parents are restrictive, punitive parents who exhort the child to follow their directions and respect their work and effort. The authoritarian parent places firm limits and controls on the child and allows little verbal exchange” (Santrock 175). This style strongly matches that of the “Chinese Mother”. It further explains that the children are “often unhappy, fearful, and anxious about themselves with others; they also fail to initiate activity, and have weak communication skills” (Santrock 175). The children of the parents will seemingly have weak communication skills and overall not be happy. Are Straight A’s really worth the lack of your child’s happiness and overall wellbeing? I would like to think not, but everyone has their own opinion as well as view on the subject.

To conclude the statement of Chinese Mothers being superior is not one that can be backed up to the point of no argument. She may think that her methods are perfect, but many beg to differ.

Works Cited

Santrock, John W., Essentials of Life-Span Development, 1221 Avenue of the Americans, New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2008, United States

Chua, Amy, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior”, 2011, The Wall Street journal, February, 2, 2011

“Our Readers Roar: What Makes A Good Parent”, 2011, The Wall Street Journal , February 28, 2011